Lyric check: Game Over

hi brian, it’s hard to give feedback because i don’t want the recipient to get hurt feelings. but here goes…i like the theme about love, the words appear that there is sacrifice for the loved but, really, the lover sounds selfish. the lover wants everything to go well and is presuming it will and “promises no one will get hurt”, that is unrealistic. but i like how you put the loved on a pedestal that is really what love is, you put the other person on a pedestal, although that isn’t too realistic either, but that’s how Love goes… can’t wait to hear it when it’s done. good luck!

I love this pair:

“When your middle name is danger
There’s no room for second thoughts”

I also love this:

“To that end I’ve the means
Born of years perfecting intricate schemes”

I like “It’s too late to turn back now” but not “And high time to disappear”. Something about the pair doesn’t work for me… it’s not the beat or anything (I admittedly know nothing of music). I feel like it’s a change in tone or direction of the dialog. Possibly something more like “Or maybe just disappear”?

Stephanie, you don’t have to worry. There’s no recipient! Unless you mean me, in which case, hit me with your best shot . Yes, the persona is certainly a piece of work. That’s part of the fun, but the song is only tangentially about love.

Mark, I’m relieved you like the means/schemes couplet. It was hard to get the idea across in that limited space. I know what you mean about the disappear line. What I really want to say is “It’s time for me to disappear” – in other words, hide out to avoid getting caught. Again, it’s just a matter of syllables and meter.

The thing I like about your lyrics is that it tells a story….When I read them sometimes I don’t get the aspect that they are lyrics….LIKE I would never think the word “margaritas” would be cool in a song. But what I have learned as have hearing Color Theory tracks for a long while now you use words and sayings that work well with your voice. I could never pull it off but when you throw Brian a word like I quoted above you will create a way to sing it where it makes great sense. (OR CENTS). HAHA

Also adding “SECOND THOUGHTS” is a nice little promo…good for keyword search. I hear there is a great remix on there!!! )))-

“I DID IT ALL FOR YOU” Perfecto ending.

“Game Over” isn’t in the lyrics and having read only that, I thought it would be a song about marriage!

I think the song flows well (and I wonder what he’s trying to do) but not sure how the title fits into it.

Oh wait, there it is. It didn’t fit well for me because it seemed like the game was only starting, the plan beginning to go into execution. But it makes sense now, the chorus is repeated right?

Dan, spellcheck didn’t like “margaritas” either! Thanks for the kind words. Referring back to previous Color Theory songs and albums has been a tradition since 1997!

Guy, you’ve probably seen those “game over” t-shirts too. Marriage definitely crossed my mind, but for the sake of domestic tranquility, I took it a different direction. Yep, the chorus is repeated 3x.

Yeah I saw one on a girl who said her husband bought it for her.

I really like the lyrics, and musically it sounds like it’s going to be awesome!
The only thing I would take issue with is that the title “Game Over” doesn’t really fit with the “theme” of the lyric at all. The words are there in the lyrics, but to me, the story of the song seems to be much more about the start of the protagonist’s little project and his hopes for its success, instead of about its end and/or failure … I’m not sure how else to explain it; “Game Over” sounds a lot like defeat, while the lyrics sound very upbeat, like a crazy adrenaline rush.

Here’s hoping I’ve managed to get my point across.

Thanks for your input Erika! I totally understand what you mean. On the other hand, the way I read the lyrics, his chances of success seem pretty low. I was planning to introduce a video game sound effect or two to reinforce the title, plus the song will have an instrumental coda that would make it a great candidate for the last track on the album. Funny that I started from the title and drifted so far.

I just tracked vocals, so unless someone spots an egregious fault, I guess that’s a wrap! Thanks again for all of your help!